When we speak of abuse in relationships, it is mostly perceived to be physical. If it is not physical, it is not considered abuse. However, emotional abuse is equally detrimental to the victim’s health as is physical abuse, if not more.

Let’s look at the Signs?

The abuser will usually show the following signs or something similar in their behavior:

1. Doing things the victim (hereafter, partner) dislikes e.g. smoking, not showering, not changing clothes, not brushing, and so on.
2. Gaslighting, making the partner doubt themselves. Lie about things having been done or said or agreed upon/promised.
3. Controlling the finances and what is brought into the house.
4. Keeping track of what is eaten in the house.
5. Checking where you go, whom you talk to, and whom you stay with. The abuser will even ask for proof as they don’t want to be ‘responsible’ if something goes wrong at your friend’s house.
6. Accusing you of an extra-marital affair if you go out and meet your friends.
7. Never support you in front of the abuser’s family and friends to prove their loyalty.
8. The abuser will simply refuse to do chores as they consider themselves better than you. ‘I do not want to do that, If you don’t like it, you wash your dishes, I will do mine’.
9. If you push too much, the abuser would want to split everything, from sleeping in separate rooms to getting separate groceries.
10. Last but not least. If the abuser feels you are becoming too demanding, they will deprive you of communication, physical and emotional intimacy, and sometimes even money if they control the finances.