How do you resolve conflicts in a team?

Good teamwork is not self-evident, but it is imperative. Team members enjoy their work more, get more satisfaction from their work and reinforce each other both as individuals and in their performance. And – not unimportant – the team results are achieved faster, easier, and more effortlessly.

However, a harmonious team in which confrontations, quarrels, conflicts, or differences of opinion never occur sounds ideal, but is it even realistic? The answer is no. Even teams that have been working together very pleasantly and successfully for a long time can have a difference of opinion or an argument every now and then. 

Tension between colleagues

For example, Sanjay and Swastika had been colleagues for a few years. Both were project leaders and their projects often overlapped. Although they sometimes had different interests, this never resulted in mutual conflict. They always worked out together in good consultation. They clicked, both professionally and personally. They regularly asked each other to spar about situations they encountered, had fun together, took over work from each other when necessary, and wished each other success. Until the organization expanded the team with a few new colleagues. The once fine and successful collaboration degenerated into mutual irritations between Sanjay and Swastika and eventually escalated into an argument in the team.

Causes of conflicts in a team

Some of the causes of quarrels in the team that one regularly encounters are:

Difference in Personality

Sometimes people don’t understand each other even though they speak the same language. Each person is unique and has his/her own character, a unique set of qualities and experiences, different interests, and communication styles that can clash.

Uncertainty about the tasks and roles 

We regularly come across people who do not know exactly what is expected of them. What tasks are they responsible for? What objective should they achieve? What can they decide for themselves? Sometimes they get conflicting assignments, or they don’t even know exactly which department or team they belong to. This often leads to conflict in the workplace.

Unspoken expectations and rules

• “Isn’t it logical that we’re going to do it this way?”

• “It should have been ready at 5 pm yesterday afternoon. I don’t have to explain everything, do I?”

• “We don’t have to discuss everything. Everyone has a brain, just think.”

• “Why does he do that? I think it goes without saying that I expect him to do his job differently.”

Sometimes colleagues do not know what the other expects, because it is not spoken. What makes sense to one person, isn’t at all logical to another. This results in mutual irritation or worse, quarrels in the team.

Unspoken irritations

Maya and her colleagues have been annoyed for some time by a colleague who regularly fails to meet deadlines, often comes to work late, and works from home without consultation. They are very disappointed with this because it means they cannot do their job properly. But they don’t like the confrontation.

For colleagues who are irritated by the behavior of another, emotions can often run high. They fight the conflict in their own heads instead of discussing it. The tensions rise. Meanwhile, the colleague in question is unaware of anything. Until the bomb explodes and a fight breaks out in the team.

Changes in the team or organization

Some professionals find it difficult to adapt to change. A new team member, a new way of working, a change of direction of the organization, or a decision that you do not support can evoke feelings of insecurity, powerlessness, and resistance. Not everyone is able to express this in a constructive way and let the emotions run free, resulting in mutual tension.

Poor planning or low quality of work

Sometimes it seems that nothing works. The schedule is too tight, the quality of the work is low and the objectives are not met.

The tension in the team is rising. People start looking for ‘the culprit’. Every mistake made by another is scrutinized, resulting in mutual conflict.

Mutual disagreement and determination of position

Sometimes people can believe so strongly in their own right that they have difficulty opening up to the opinion of others. They believe that the work should be done the way they have it in their mind, resulting in others hardly experiencing any space to have a different opinion. They are firm about their own point of view and get annoyed when someone else doesn’t adopt it. The position they occupy is hard to get rid of, so colleagues start to avoid them.

Resolving conflicts in a team

The following tips can prevent and, in some cases, even resolve conflicts in the team.

It is often no longer about the substance

Do you have a conflict with a team member because you do not agree with their approach? Then remember that the cause of the problem is no longer about the substantive difference of opinion, but that there is often a deeper cause. Team members do not feel valued or taken seriously, do not like each other, or have been hurtful to each other. As soon as it becomes personal, the solution to the conflict no longer lies with the substance, but with the way colleagues treat each other. Once this is acknowledged, one can go back to the substance.

Recognize the differences in your colleagues’ personalities

Differences in character can sometimes lead to misunderstandings. However, if you are willing to take each other’s personalities into account and bridge the differences, you can use these constructively. Everyone brings their own experiences, skills, and personal qualities that strengthen cooperation and help achieve the objectives better.

Communicate respectfully

We often find that the way people interact with each other can be hurtful when tensions mount. Rolling eyes, communicating reproachfully, viciously, or offensively, yelling, swearing, being too firm, or laughing away at someone else’s opinion can hit one hard.

Everything that is said and how it is said has an impact on other people. Therefore, it is important to think about what effect one wants to achieve with their conversation partner. 

Do they want to prevent or resolve the conflict? One needs to choose to communicate respectfully by clearly expressing their opinion. The other person has to be given the space to tell their story and listened to sincerely. Once everyone feels heard and taken seriously, it becomes easier to take the following steps to reach a resolution.

Set boundaries

If you are bothered by someone else’s behavior because you feel irritated or even angry, it is good to set your boundaries. Others can only take things into account if you indicate what you find annoying.

Do you want to create clarity, or do you want to be right?

Conflicts cannot always be avoided. In fact, sometimes a confrontation can be a great way to set things in motion that would otherwise remain dormant. However, this only works if the team members are prepared to enter discussions with each other to create clarity about the situation and to come up with a solution instead of wanting to be right.

Have the guts to confront

I understand that it is not always easy, but a confrontation can clear the air and bring about change in the team. Therefore, regularly consult with each other to discuss matters, even if it is a difficult subject. Be clear in what you think and what you want and be open to the ideas of others.

Negotiate

Although we are often unaware of it, we all regularly negotiate in the workplace. We discuss topics in a meeting, we discuss who does what, and when in a project and we agree on which objectives we want to achieve. You can also use negotiation to resolve a conflict in the team.

This means being clear about what is important to you, being prepared to take each other into account and give and take, especially not to let it become personal, but to want to work it out together.

Good luck!

Are you dealing with a conflict in your team, and do you find it difficult to get out of it? As team coaches, we can help you. You are most welcome to contact us for more information.