In our day to day life, we have to deal with many people. Where there are people, there are conflicts and disagreements. A mediator can be called in to help with all kinds of conflicts. Think of conflicts with colleagues, customers, suppliers, supervisors, or employers. A mediator is also regularly called upon for conflicts within the family or with neighbours. All these conflicts have one thing in common: emotions. And emotions play a crucial role in a conflict.
What are emotions?
An emotion is a reaction of the brain to a certain event and is often automatically expressed in certain patterns of behaviour, such as fleeing or attacking, and physiological reactions. We sometimes say: ‘I was overcome by emotions.’ In such a situation it is difficult to act rationally or to start a good conversation. In order to properly resolve a conflict, it is important to learn to deal with emotions well, both with your own emotions and with those of others. A mediator can play a catalytic role in this.
Misinterpretations and misunderstandings
In order to properly resolve a conflict, it is essential that the arguing parties understand each other better. Emotions can incite people to act out in a certain way or display a certain behaviour that is not very pleasant for the people around them or specifically to the party they are in conflict with. What this behaviour is can vary from person to person. Everyone looks at an event differently and reacts differently. Many conflicts are based on misunderstandings. A mediator is an expert in unravelling these misunderstandings by entering into discussions with all those involved. Everyone gets the chance to tell their story, problems are discussed, misunderstandings are exposed, emotions are expressed, and mutual understanding is cultivated.
Disagreement and Conflict
When it comes to only a difference of opinion, a rational solution is usually easily found. The difference between a disagreement and a conflict is that a conflict is based on emotions. People often feel very hurt and that makes them angry, sad, disappointed, or frustrated. This makes talking about the problem very difficult. Yet that is the only way to end the conflict, find a solution that is acceptable to both parties and possibly restore the relationship.
